Nonstop story.

[Pac-Fish]

Meanwhile Darth Insidious (See what I did there )

I did see what you did there 

Darth Sidious brings in the Death Star but when he tries to fire it, it says out of coffee, so he instead invades Earth, specifcally targeting Starbucks. As he takes Stabucks by Starbucks.......

[neosdark]

The Brits fire and destroy Earth with their Tea Lazer, killing Insidious and pummeling the Death Star with Molten Hot Magma and Rocks, thus leaving it in its Episode VI state.

[Rainbow Dragon]

while the british take the rest of their civilisation on a giant space station called the ARK which they travel in for many years to find another home for them

[Pac-Fish]

And eventually find the aliens still in their Star destroyers. Despite the fact their primary objective was to destroy them, they are too weak to do so and instead decide to live with them.

[neosdark]

20 Censored years later. The species have all intermarried (more or less) but suddenly a reincarnated Chuck Norris decides the world is too peaceful, creating a new army, sets of too conquer Planet Angland..........

[Pac-Fish]

What is up with you guys and Chuck Norris ? Anyways,

But he is unable to get to Earth (or Planet Angland) since the Aliens refuse to give him a ship to use.

[neosdark]

So he decides to SCREW THE POLICE, and builds a craft out of spare parts, thus creating the new generation C&C (dunno how but he is Chuck) and launching his armada to take over Angland.....

[Pac-Fish]

But considering his ships do not move too fast since they consisit of spare parts, the people of Angland have time to evacuate and leave a trap before the armada arrives

[neosdark]

But Chucks superior tacticians know of their weakness and plan for the evacuation instead ambushing the Anglanders in deep space and capturing most if not all of their supply ships, thus leaving them with only a days supply of food and drink.

[Rainbow Dragon]

but the people of Angland had a backup plan which half of the supply ships were hidden on the nearest planet and so they continued there voyage meanwhile...

[Pac-Fish]

The aliens decide to help the Anglands so they steal the supplies back from Chuck's armada

[Rainbow Dragon]

the Anglands find a new home and colonise the planet calling it New Angland

[Pac-Fish]

And they live peacefully in New Angland for years to come.

[neosdark]

Meanwhile, back in the days of the Crusades, Pope Arnold the Holiest of the Holy (Even more so than Jesus), decides to fund experiments for the creation of (pre-Industrial Era) machine guns. Using his knowledge from the future he successfully creates a Gatling Gun, and later a  Hand Held Gatling Gun for mounting on his steed, the FIAT 1100 AD. With his near unstoppable army he decides to embark on quest to "Arnoldize" the entire Middle East.......

[Pac-Fish]

......back in the days of the Crusades.......decides to fund experiments for the creation of (pre-Industrial Era) machine guns. ......creates a Gatling Gun

Ummm I think the idea of gun powder must first be brought to Euro

creates a Gatling Gun, and later a  Hand Held Gatling Gun for mounting on his steed, the FIAT 1100 AD

You mean this ?

Anyways, his horses(or camels) soon become tired of dragging around gatling guns. Saladin(general) sees this and attacks Pope Arnolds forces, suffering heavy casualties but forces Arnold force to retreat and Soloman captures some gatling guns for himself.