In soviet russia jokes

[comrade2012]

In Soviet Russia, prostitute pay you!!

[Akalonor]

In soviet Russia, Jesus crucify you.

[Fementedbeancurd]

KGB: It is appearing that prostitutski drown after drink too much vodka.

Yakov Caruso: In Soviet Moscow, vodka...

*is placing on large Russian hat of warmth*

...drinks you.

DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!

[Cranialwizard]

In Soviet Russia, Gun Shoot You!

[Akalonor]

*Kncok Knock*
-Who's there-
-KGB-
*Opens door*
-KGB who?-
*SLAP*
-VE VILL ASK THE QUESTIONS!-

[vietlord]

in the perestroika period:
a rumor said in Moscow a gov shop got meat
_ a 2 km human file creates there... no one may enter...
_ 2H later, a fat comisar comes, "judes get out!" one third of the file grumbles and gets off
_ 2H later, the fat comisar comes again, "only communist card may stay" ... half of the files goes
_ 2H later, drivers of nomenklatura comes and take some meat, + 20 first people ... "stock is empty"
     then an anonymous shout: "always judes are favorized"

[Akalonor]

In soviet Russia, Thread kills you.

[UeArtemis]

i dont get it....
cause i aint no russian

It is the Russian language with English words:
how much watch? - What time is it?
Near six - About six
Such much? - So late?
For whom how… - ... I don't know the English version, I'm Slav too. ^_^
MGIMO finished? - Is MGIMO over?

[Pauly3]

Stalin and Molotov in the Kremlin
Stalin : We will take Finnland!
Molotov: And then?
Stalin: We will steamroll Japan!
Molotov: And then?
Stalin:We will attack Germany, it will be a hard and long war.
Molotov: And then?
Stalin:We will take France, it will be even harder but we will make it.
Molotov: And then?
Stalin:Then we got Europe and Asia.We will have a massive party.
Molotov: I have one question...
Stalin:Yes, ask it.
Molotov: Why not have the party now?

[ford_prefect]

lol epic...yea they got the vodka there why do they need all the other countries

[Akalonor]

Poor poor Finland . ;(
In Soviet Russia Mr.T get pittied by you!

[Red_Stinger]

Poor France, they already have been steamrolled by Germany over and over, we dont need a red wave!

[ford_prefect]

"Stalin:We will attack Germany, it will be a hard and long war.
Molotov: And then?
Stalin:We will take France, it will be even harder but we will make it."
how will it be harder to take France........

[Red_Stinger]

"Stalin:We will attack Germany, it will be a hard and long war.
Molotov: And then?
Stalin:We will take France, it will be even harder but we will make it."
how will it be harder to take France........

I think he refer that before the nazi invasion, the french army was supposed to be the greatest in the world... lol

[Seeme]

They were, germany was just very smart.