Company of Heroes: Eastern Front
Other discussions (Read-Only) => Off Topic => Topic started by: Pac-Fish on October 05, 2011, 03:42:21 AM
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Title says it all. If you know a funny joke post it here :D. Or if you don't understand one just post it here and maybe someone can help ;D.
Here's a website for animated Yo Mama jokes ;D : http://www.youtube.com/user/yomama (http://www.youtube.com/user/yomama)
I'll start: Yo mama so stupid she stopped at a stop sign and waited for it to say go ;D
Legal disclaimer: No offense meant towards anyone :-X. It's just for entertainments sake :P Please do not put a post expressing grief or anger. Thank you ^-^
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This is probably going to get locked, but I remember a good one.
"Yo momma's so poor burglars break in and leave money."
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Why would it get locked ???
Edit: I thought about it for a sec and realized why it might be closed :-\. So I made a legal disclaimer section ;D
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This topic reminds me that I got some pretty badass jokes (not really "your mamma ones) up my sleeve, and I'm dying to say them, but I fear if I do, this topic really WILL be locked. ;D
But, being who I am, I don't give a fuck, so I'll say them anyways. Now, these jokes are really bad, and I do NOT believe in any of the stereotypes or negative messages these jokes portray. Again, I didn't make these jokes up, and I don't take the messages they bring seriously; this is only for the lolz.
To lighten things up, I will make a weaker joke about my own race first. Then, I will tell the really bad ones.
"What do you need to blindfold an Asian?"
-A windshield
Now here comes the really bad ones:
"What is the useless skin around the vagina?"
-Woman
"Why can't women drive?"
-There is no highway from the bed to the laundry room.
"What do black people and sperm have in common?"
-Only one in a million actually function.
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This topic reminds me that I got some pretty badass jokes (not really "your mamma ones) up my sleeve, and I'm dying to say them, but I fear if I do, this topic really WILL be locked. ;D
I suggest you say them ^^. If you can censor it alittle. But I just wanna good laugh ;D. I have a perverted joke:
An man was on a bus and a pretty nun walked in and the man asked the nun if she wanted to go out on a date sometime and she said no. Later when she left the bus driver said: "You should dress up as god and tell her to have sex with you".
The man figured it was worth a shot and did as he said the next day. Surprisinglly the nun said yes and they had sex. When he finished he pulled off the god costume and said "Ha! Im the guy from the bus!". The nun suddenly said "Ha! And Im the bus driver!" XD
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The evil deed has been done in the post above yours ;D
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LOL Yauz you editted your post b4 I posted what I had to say XD I have a racist joke.
What do you call a bunch of whote people running down a hill? A avalanche :P
What do you call a a bunch of mexicans running down a hill? A muslide :P
What do you call a bunch of asians running down a hill? A sale at the 99 cent store ;D
What do you call a bunch of black people running down a hill? A jail break ;D
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this seems thread seems to have evolved to any jokes, dirty, racist, etc. anyways, may i suggest...
Michael j fox always gets the last drop of a1 steak sauce.
because of parkinsons.
when Michael j fox puts on his glasses, kids call him sixteen eyes.
because of parkinsons
michael j foxs' arch enemy is the etch-a-scetch.
because of parkinsons
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this seems thread seems to have evolved to any jokes, dirty, racist, etc. anyways, may i suggest...
Michael j fox always gets the last drop of a1 steak sauce.
because of parkinsons.
when Michael j fox puts on his glasses, kids call him sixteen eyes.
because of parkinsons
michael j foxs' arch enemy is the etch-a-scetch.
because of parkinsons
I've noticed this joke may involve parkinsons
because of parkinsons ;D
But you're right. It seems there are more than just Yo Mama jokes. I may change the title later :P As a result:
Yo mama so poor when she invited me over and I asked what was for dinner she threw a match in my pocket and shouted "Hot Pockets!"
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nice the one with the hot pockets
Your mom is so fat she makes pics of herself with google earth.
your mom is so fat she has her own post code.
your mom barks when the doorbell rings.
your mom is so hairy she only speaks wookie.
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First a disclaimer: I am not a racist nor do I believe in any possibly mentioned stereotypes, these jokes are just meant for entertainment.
-Your momma is so fat, she plays pool with the planets.
-A man was on the bus, then the bus driver said: get off my bus
-What's written on Mario's grave? Game over
-What are ten black people in front of a white wall? A bar code
The following jokes are about Hitler, WWII, Jews and other related things, if anyone is offended, please say so and I will remove these. As before though, these are not meant to be serious, nor is any insult intended with them.
-How did Hitler die? He had a heart attack when looking at the gas bill
-How did Hitler's wife die? She stepped under the wrong shower
-Why does a German shower have 11 holes? A jew only has 10 fingers.
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at last we can all be as racist as we want under the cover of telling jokes wohoo 8) ;D
your mom gets slammed more often than a job center door!
whats the toughest race in the world? driving a hotdog-van through somalia....
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whats the toughest race in the world? driving a hotdog-van through somalia....
XD this joke made me laugh ;D. I wonder if the same applies to meal on wheel trucks? :3
Yo mama so fat even her reflection says out to lunch
Yo mama so poor when I went to her house, I went through the front door and fell out the back :P
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yo momma so nasty, when she take off her panties it sounds like velcro
yo momma so fat, she eats wheat thicks.
yo momma so ugly, when you were born she thought you were cute
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yo momma so nasty, when she take off her panties it sounds like velcro
Ummmm what ??? Can you elaborate :P
yo momma so fat, she eats wheat thicks.
LMFAO ;D
Yo mama so ugly that Lemony Snicket decided to write a series of stores about her from birth to now called "A series of unfortunate events" ;D
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yo momma so nasty, when she take off her panties it sounds like velcro
Ummmm what ??? Can you elaborate :P
well, i think this might get pretty graphic, but anyways, because of all the buildup a sort of, snnniiiicckk sound is heard when the panties are removed.
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yo momma so nasty, when she take off her panties it sounds like velcro
Ummmm what ??? Can you elaborate :P
well, i think this might get pretty graphic, but anyways, because of all the buildup a sort of, snnniiiicckk sound is heard when the panties are removed.
Oh I get it :P. NVM :-[
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Wow. Talk about inappropriate :P
At Eastern Front we do not discriminate and nor does joking give you the right to justify racisim, please try to keep all jokes at a race/ethnicity/nationality/religion friendly tone please :)
I personally do not have a problem with any of these jokes but some of them aren't something you would say to or around someone of that ethnicity, would you?
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Wow. Talk about inappropriate :P
At Eastern Front we do not discriminate and nor does joking give you the right to justify racisim, please try to keep all jokes at a race/ethnicity/nationality/religion friendly tone please :)
I personally do not have a problem with any of these jokes but some of them aren't something you would say to or around someone of that ethnicity, would you?
You are correct :D. Although I didn't realize other jokes would end up here :P and made this thread for the sole purpose of sharing Yo Mama jokes and apprently peope have more than just that ;)
Maybe any further jokes should be toned down just a bit to be appropriate. Im not saying don't post them, just make it less servere TY ^-^
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well, yo momma jokes kinda are racist in a way.
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well, yo momma jokes kinda are racist in a way.
Racist ???. I'd go as far as to say mean but race doesn't have 2 be in any Yo Mama jokes :P. You can but its more optional than anything. For example:
Yo mama so fat she had to be baptized at sea world :o
No ethnicities in there :)
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yea. i can just see how this kind of a joke originated, cant you? what ethnicity is stereotyped for saying "yo momma" ?
hmm? (no offense to anybody)
also, are michael j fox jokes allowed?
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Well if you consider some things:
-A mother is not a ethnicity. It is considered to be more of a occupation(no offense meant) and a task that people take on that can be voluntary and sometimes involuntary. If you are considering the gender biased point then you can say Yo Daddy but IMO that just sounds weird :P
-These jokes originated in the US but spread around the globe, as you can clearly see from past post. These jokes are not or should be, exclusive to the US
-These jokes may have originated from the US but in no way does it apply to the US. It is like saying I use a chair made in China and somehow I am trying to send a message about Chinese people ::). Anyhow, there a whole thread for in Soviet Russia jokes and that CLEARLY states the targeted country :P (Hint: The game you play revolves around this country ;))
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fair enough
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Yo momma has to wear 3 watches because she covers 3 time zones!
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Well COD, yo mama so fat she needs cheat codes for the wii fit ;D
Welcome to the forums 8)
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BOTH yo mommas so fat they get stuck in hula hoops!
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Here's mine:
Yo Momma's so fat she's on both sides of the family.
Yo Momma's so fat when she gets in the lift she has to go down.
Yo Momma's so fat Obi-Wan said "That's no moon that's your Momma."
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Yo momma has to wear 3 watches because she covers 3 time zones!
She can't wear any of those watches because she's too fat.
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Yo moma so fat she broke her leg and gravy came out
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BOTH yo mommas so fat they get stuck in hula hoops!
"Both?" XD How were you conceived :P ?
Yo Momma's so fat Obi-Wan said "That's no moon that's your Momma."
LOL Robot Chicken ;D
Well guys, ur mommas are so poor when the charity bowl comes to her in church she put an I.O.U. in ;D
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your mooma has blood group nutella
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Yo momma so fat her belly button has an echo ;D
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your momma so fat she doesn't need internet, she's already world wide!
your momma so fat she needs cheat codes for Wii Fit!
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Already said ;)
Yo momma so fat when she breast feeds, egg nog comes out :P
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Your Mama's so nice, she made me cookie!
Everyone needs a change of pace. ;)
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Seeme's mama so fat, she thinks planets are hundreds and thousands.
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Seeme's mama so fat, she thinks planets are hundreds and thousands.
Im not sure if I fully understood that 1 :P. Someone explain it just to confirm if I understood it right :D
Yo momma so ugly even Lady Gaga didn't believe it was born that way ;D
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yo momma so ugly, we call her IT instead of she.
i didnt understant that one either
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Yo mama so ugly she sat on an itouch and it turned into the ipad ;D
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i think you mean fat.
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Yes you are right stealth :P. Your mom was just so fat that I got startled for a sec and typed ugly instead ;D. JK
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Google hundreds and thousands. They're the tiny coloured sprinkles you have on donuts and whatever. Maybe it's an Australian term? Although you haven't heard of Greenpeace either so I don't know what to say to you :P.
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Nope us English call them that as well don't worry I got your back on this one ha ha
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Although you haven't heard of Greenpeace either so I don't know what to say to you :P.
Hey >:(! Just cause I don't know one thing doesn't mean Im ignorant :P. I support eco friendly stuff. Its just I haven't heard of this program until recently.
And I just checked wikipedia. Its says in England they are called hundreds and thousands. So they must be called that in Australia too. But in America they are sprinkles. Plus stealthattack didn't understand the joke either and he's from America as well :P
Anyways back on topic
Yo mama so fat when she walks down the street she shakes the richter scale ;D
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Although you haven't heard of Greenpeace either so I don't know what to say to you :P.
that's messed up man. just because we live in a different country and use different words doesn't mean were ignorant. i agree fish not knowing about Greenpeace is a little weird, but implying people are ignorant because of a country-specific joke, cmon. im willing to bet i could confuse a lot of people with the crap they speak over here in California, but im not alienating people because of it.
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i agree fish not knowing about Greenpeace is a little weird
Im a weird person ;D. If only there was an alien smiley :P
im willing to bet i could confuse a lot of people with the crap they speak over here in California
California dialect vs NY dialect Who shall win? ;D
Anyways back on topic:
Yo mama so fat when she joined myspace there was n space left. So they went to Facebook ;D
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and it crashed because she was so ugly.
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Although you haven't heard of Greenpeace either so I don't know what to say to you :P.
that's messed up man. just because we live in a different country and use different words doesn't mean were ignorant. i agree fish not knowing about Greenpeace is a little weird, but implying people are ignorant because of a country-specific joke, cmon. im willing to bet i could confuse a lot of people with the crap they speak over here in California, but im not alienating people because of it.
Woah, calm down there Captain America. The :P indicated I was joking.
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Did someone call me 8) ?
(http://i40.tinypic.com/103daf7.jpg)
Everyone just forgive and forget :D
Anyways:
Yo mama so skinny she hula hoops with fruit loops
Yo mama so skinny she slipped down the drain and got lost
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Everyone just forgive and forget :D
fair enough. any ways, captain america looks more like this
(http://nik.bot.nu/o808279.jpg)
sorry if i overreacted
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You're pics not showing stealth :P. Try reuploading it ???
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which one? captain america? or my profile pic?
EDIT:how bout now?
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Capt America
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oh well. just know that its not the first google image result for captain america.
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oh well. just know that its not the first google image result for captain america.
WHO KEEPS TELLING YOU MY SECRETS!?! *takes out knife*. DIE SPY!
Anyways now that stealth is mortally wounded:
Yo mama is so old she has an autographed bible ;D